Sitting here having me dinner great pain came into me teeth,
Every bite that I took it gave me awful grief,
Still it might go away in a day or two,
But at the moment it made me blue,
The pain continued into the night,
Couldn’t sleep properly had such a fight.

Well I’ll have to go to the dentist,
To sort out what is wrong,
Put on my coat went down the road,
And sung meself a song,
It kept me calm till I got to the door,
It seemed like me feet were stuck to the floor.

Can I help you said the man at the desk,
But I don’t really want to be a pest,
You’re no trouble to me,
It’s the dentist you’ll see,
Treat him nicely,                                                                                                                                    He might sit on your knee.

Oh very funny it’s not love that I want,
It’s a slap on the wrist you’re liable to get,
I’m certainly not here to love and to pet,
He looked at me with his shifty eyes,
My maddening voice,
Must have been a surprise.

He told me to sit and read a book,
The pain was terrific so I paced up and down,
Another patient gave me a terrible frown,
They went in one by one,
Till every one was gone.

Then the dentist called my name,
He was quite good looking that was plain,
Just sit down, how can I help you,
I’ve got pain in me teeth you great big whelk,
Why do you think I’m sitting here it’s not to have a pint of beer,
Open up your mouth my dear we’ll have you right sometime this year.