I went into the toilet and sat down on the seat,
Me bum got stuck I couldn’t move,
And swallowed me boiled sweet,
No matter how I tried I couldn’t move at all,
What was I going to do
On whom now could I call,
The phone was in the other room
I couldn’t even reach the broom.


I looked around and,
Did a spy a jar of Vaseline,
That would do the trick I thought,
At the same time make me clean,
To reach it was another thing,
I didn’t even have a piece of string,
In desperation I pushed down the seat,
And also pushed upon my feet.


Then all at once my bum gave way,
I shot across the floor,
I landed down upon my knees,
And banged me head on the door,
Me bum is sore and what is more,
Me pride’s been really hurt,
To be stuck on the toilet pan,
And couldn’t call upon a man.