I’m fine, thank you,
There’s nothing the matter with me,
I have arthritis in both knees,
And when I talk, I talk with a wheeze.


Sleep is denied me night after night,
But every morning I find I’m a fright,
My memory failing, my head’s in a spin,
But I’m awfully well for the shape I’m in.

How do I know my youth is all spent,
Well my get up and go has got up and went,
But I don’t really mind when I think with a grin,
Of all of the grand places my got up has been.

Old age is golden I’ve heard it said,
But sometimes I wonder as I get into bed,
With my ears in a drawer my teeth in a cup,
My eyes on a table until I wake up.

‘Ere sleep overtakes me I say to myself,
Is there is anything else I can put on the shelf,
When I was younger my slippers were red,
I could kick my heels over my head.

When I was older my slippers were blue,
But I could still dance the whole night through,
Now I am old my slippers are black,
Now I walk to the store and puff my back.

I get up each morning and dust off my wits,
And pick up the paper and read the orbits,
My name is still missing I know I’m not dead,
So I have a good breakfast and face what’s ahead