I’ve got a friend who’s name is Joan,
And with her everywhere I roam,
There’s lots of places that we go,
That lots of people wouldn’t know.

We’re like the terrible twins at times,
That’s why I’m writing this little rhyme,
We meet on Wednesday at eleven o’clock,
I tell her she’s late and she gives me a sock.

We never know where we are going that day,
But it’s got to be somewhere where we don’t have to pay,
It doesn’t really work out like that,
On top of the money we have to pay V.A.T.

Saturday’s come and we meet again,
Hoping the two of us don’t get much pain,
But we’re really so happy my friend and I
I know we’ll never say goodbye.